Riding the Rails with Ronald and Edna


[a train platform. the train is about to leave]

Ronald: Edna, you can't leave now! Not now that little Timmy can't walk anymore and Mrs. Stanwyck needs me to look after her on weekends!

Edna: Ronald, don't you see how much more important this is than Mrs. Stanwyck? If I don't get on that train, there might not ever be a Mrs. Stanwyck to look after ever again, and little Timmy won't have anywhere to walk!

Ronald: Please Edna, think of Timmy for a change. He's too young to understand what a train even is, and you're just going to waltz off to some knitting club meeting without a second thought!

Timmy: Daddy, can I have some popcorn?

Edna: It's not a knitting club meeting, Ronald, it's about the future of this country and the future of this world. What I'm doing isn't easy, but someone has to do it, Ronald, and right now, right here, that someone just happens to be me. Can't you let go of your little picket-fence world for long enough to take a look around and smell the coffee on the other side of the fence? It's not even green at all anymore, Ronald, and it's because people like us have for too long had our other cheeks buried in the sand. Well it's time I did something, and I'm sorry to say that means I have to get on this train at this station at this hour of this day of this week of this year, before it leaves!

Timmy: Daddy, c'I have popcorn now? Hey!

Ronald [to Timmy]: In a minute! [to Edna] Edna, can't you take some other train? Why does it always have to be this train? You know Edna, sometimes I think you don't understand what a train is. Maybe you've been hobnobbing and talking big with your intellectual friends for so long that you don't even remember the simple honest things that make me and Timmy what we are. We're People, Edna, can't you see that? Don't you remember what it feels like?

Timmy: Daddy why can't I have some popcorn? Huh?

Edna: As a matter of fact I do, Ronald. As a matter of fact all of us in the Women's World Preservation League know what it feels like to be a person, and that's why we're doing what we're doing now; and we just happen to be doing what we're doing now in Cleveland, where this train just happens to be going! And how can you say that I don't know what a train is? Everyone knows that, Ronald. It's a series of linked cars pulled by a locomotive along the surface of two iron rails mounted on wooden beams.

Ronald [sobbing]: That's not what I meant, Edna. Look what's happening to us!

Edna [tenderly]: Oh Ronald, I understand how hard it can be. But you have to let me go now! Someday you'll understand. I'll send you a postcard ... [hug and kiss sounds] Oh Ronald!

Ronald: Oh Rachel ... I mean Edna!

Edna: Who's Rachel? [dramatic music]

Ronald [distraught]: No one! What are you talking about? [to Timmy] Hey Timmy, how about we get you some popcorn now? Whaddya say?

Timmy: Oh goody, Dad!

Edna [furious]: Ronald, you've got a lot of explaining to do!

[train begins to pull out of station]