Announcer: And now let's turn on Ronald and Edna, radio's favorite couple, for WEFT Champaign, 90.1.
Ronald: Edna, how can you walk out on me at a time like this. Little WEFTy is never going to make it without you!
Edna: Whose fault do you think that is, Ronald? You know, sometimes I think you spend so much time making up half-baked accusations of me that you don't have any time for little WEFTy yourself!
Ronald: Edna, I don't know how to bake. All I know is that if WEFT doesn't get more pledge calls, now, I don't know if I can go on with this anymore. Edna, your holier-than-thou lifestyle is heading you for a future you don't want to face, a future where little WEFTy won't be able to look you in the eye and say "you cared about me when all those commercial radio stations were getting ahead because their mommies and daddies could afford to buy big advertising packages for them every Easter".
Edna: I don't want to face that, huh? Well watch me!
Ronald: Edna I am watching you and I have been watching you and all I see is a person who could let their own radio station come home crying every day because the big radio stations drowned him out on the airwaves!
Edna: You're being melodramatic, Ronald. You're blowing this way out of proportion! Little WEFTy's grown a lot, no thanks to your neurotic whining overprotective little -- way of treating him.
Ronald: And when have you lifted one finger to help, with your sports car and executive lawn parties and your power lunches --
Edna: For your information Ronald, it's not a sports car. It's a compact sedan with a fancy stereo and an optional sunroof. It just happens to be the only car we've ever owned that can even pick up WEFT, and we could never have bought that car if I hadn't slaved away every day of my life beneath a hot whiteboard making proposals to the marketing division here, proposals to the marketing division there. I've made so many God Damned proposals to the marketing division that I can't even think straight!
Ronald: That's just what I'm talking about Edna. You've made so many so- called proposals to the so-called marketing division that you don't even have time to urge listeners to pledge to little WEFTy, who can barely even be heard any more over the blare of the adult format FM bullys in its community!
Edna: Oh God Ronald you're right. How could I have been so insensitive. It's just that I get so caught up with things at work.
Ronald: I bet you're gonna tell me that you've been "caught up" with Steve too.
Edna: Steve?
Ronald: Don't play dumb with me, Edna. I've heard all about you and Steve.
Edna: Me and what? Now listen Ronald. I can understand you coming to me with your concerns about WEFT, but dragging Steve into this doesn't cut it. You can't use WEFT as a way to bring up your paranoid delusions to me in front of WEFT and all the listeners!
Ronald: Oh! Oh! So you don't want me to bring it up in front of the listeners. Why is that, Ronald? Just what is it about this non-involvement with Steve that makes you so nervous about me bringing it up now?
Edna: Oh Jesus Christmas Ronald, I take back everything I said before about you being right. You're such a mess, Ronald, I don't think you're fit to take care of little WEFTy. You're just going to turn him into a basket case by the time you're through with him!
Ronald: Me? I'm going to turn him into a basket case? Well you're the one who's running around with Steve while little WEFT teeters on the verge of bankruptcy.
Edna: You're being melodramatic about this, Ronald.
Ronald: I think you're the one who's being melodramatic.
Edna: Dammit Ronald, why does it matter who's being melodramatic! I thought you wanted to talk about little WEFT and the fact that he needs people to call and pledge now or he won't be able to pay his little bills!
Ronald: Oh sure. Change the subject.
Edna: Ronald, I'm trying to be reasonable with you. But you just aren't listening to me. You're so angry about this made-up affair you think I'm having with Steve, who I'm definitely not having an affair with, that you don't even remember that it was you who changed the subject, for your information!
Ronald: Oh forget it, Ronald! Just forget about the whole thing!
Announcer: Help Ronald and Edna have something to argue about. Call WEFT at FLY-WEFT and pledge your contribution.